Allow me to dork out for a moment.

I just have to write about the Twins. I tried to hold off for a couple of days to see if the urge would dissipate. No such luck. I am totally bummed that the season is over & I have to wait until freaking March for more Twins time. I understand that there are probably only a few of you who will care (you know who you are), but whatever, it's my damn cabaret, suckas.

O, and for momma's lady friends who are neither interested in America's pastime nor my take on the Twinkers, know that I have peppered this post with pictures of young, hot boys... just for you. Well, and for me, obviously, as every photo involves my favorite, Young Joe, aka Baby Jesus, aka Muffin Butt.



You can't see me, but I'm a pickle in the middle of this little man-boy sandwich.

What a kickass baseball season for Twins fans. I know that has been said (even by the national media) to the point that the sentiment has nearly lost its meaning, but man... take some time and think about it just one more time. It's simply a phenomenal sports story & we are lucky that it happened to be our team involved in it. It would be a cool story, if it not even our team, but it was & we should be really pleased about that.

And, although it ended in the most anti-climactic fashion imaginable (and really quite unbelievably poorly played), Twinsfannation can take heart by 1. remembering September (sorry, cheeseball, I know) and 2. legitimately looking forward to next season (for real).



Yeah, I'm in that sandwich too.

What do I think went the most wrong in the ALDS, you ask?

Well, forget the dumbass-rookie-mistake-I-always-want-to-be-a-hero-these-young-studs-are-showing-me-up-and-I-can't-handle-it Hunter play. One play doesn't lose a series. Forget the booted infield bloops (wake up, Bartlett) and Cuddyer groping the astroturf, looking for the ball like he had a boiled ham attached to the end of his right arm... a few defensive miscues don't lose it all either.

However, I do think the defense problems are certain side effects of what really lost them the series... emotional immaturity and a straight up lack of experience.

I think the Twins played "out" from the first moment the Big Hurt hit a dinger off of Santana. Their emotions & nerves got the best of them & they couldn't pull out of it. They could not shake it off, and that, coupled with some stupid management (DHing Jason Tyner, who couldn't hit a homerun off of a tee... Mike Redmond not seeing one at bat... putting Jesse Crain in, ever = all dumb) set the stage for the defensive miscues and the painful offensive impotence (Justin M & Ronhill Light are exempt from this verdict). O, and the A's played pretty well, too.



Do you think that Justin (aka Grunt, aka Porno) washes Muffin's hair at home before going to bp every morning? I do. hoyay !!

The good news is that they should have the nerves out of their system now, right? Yes. Momma says so. Next season's playoffs will be entirely different.

And more good news is that there is not a whole lot that needs to be done during the off-season, in my opinion. I mean, picking up & dealing players, not workouts and stuff. I'm only really looking for 1 - a real DH, 2 - one more starting pitcher. Honestly, that's it. I also say cough up the moula and keep Torii in center (I could be convinced otherwise on this one, but for now I say keep him).

With one more reliable (hopefully experienced) pitcher, the rotation is going to be fine next year. Let's see... Santana, Liriano, Bonzer, Garza/Baker/Perkins & the new guy (ZITO!ZITO!). Yes, that means I say dump Carlos Silva. And I also say dump Jesse Crain and his stupid necklace and his even stupider nappy beard. Aside from dumb Jesse, the bullpen rules. Don't change a thing. Well, except give Nathan ("twitch-n-pitch," I recently & hilariously heard him referred to) more innings. It doesn't just have to be a save situation, silly.


"I like older women."

I like the infield as is as well. Altough I like a tall, lean fellow at third - tinyPunto has earned the spot & hopefully a Gold Glove. Second & short are fine & Porno has turned into a really good first-baseman (along with a killer hitter. I mean, c'mon, he is unreal). And, obviously, I sort of like the catcher.

O, and they better keep Mike Redmond. I get the sneaking suspicion that he may be single-handedly responsible for the big turnaround this season.

O, and someone tell tinyPunto that you don't get to first faster by sliding headfirst. That is a statistically proven fact.

Your thoughts, please! Want so super fun & smart Twins-related reading? Check out Bat Girl.

Ciao, buddies.
-nina
p.s. I'm thinking I'll play fantasy baseball next year. Anyone interested?
p.s.s. I just heard they picked up Torii's option.