WTF ?

First I get caught crying on ESPN and now the entire metro area knows I'm afraid of toilets.

I kid, I kid. This is super cool. I just about fell out of my chair when I checked my site meter and saw over a hundred page views today. Welcome newbies. Never forget, The Cabaret is always open for momma's friends. Stay gold.

Clearly, the only way to read this is as divine prophesy.

The forecast: This is my year.

The world has spoken and I hear you. You want more Nina, I get it. Therefore, I have pushed up the release date of my debut single, Bad Choices (a.k.a. The Kellogg Avenue the Night of a Wild Game Song). Look for it to drop in mid-December with a video, which will be aired exclusively on public access television, shortly to follow. Look for the 'making the video' special, following that nutjob thumbs-up guy, sometime after the first of the year.

Ciao, buddies.
-Nina.

P.S. I am curious how The Blotter writer decided to pick "failed Greek omelettes, yoga balls, her trip to Europe, poop stories, and party pix" as selling points. I don't know how one could ignore such a titillating play by play of my lunch. Fried biscuits, man!

P.P.S. Hey mom, "WTF" means what the fuck.

put the turkey in the bag

Hi friends & lovers.

Three points of business before we all cluck and gobble ourselves silly:

1. Mostly because I wanted to be "friends" with Sam from Top Chef (Harold from season 1 hasn't accepted me yet. I'm nervous), I've joined the myspace community. I'm not 100% sure I know what I'm doing, but come visit me & be my friend. And Sam, tell Harold I'm a really good friend.
   
   O, and I won't be using the 'blog' option on myspace because I don't want this blog to get jealous.
   
   
2. Good news today for Justin Morneau, AL MVP. I don't know about you, pumpkin pies, but I just didn't see it happening. Nice job, Grunt.
   
   
   
3. I am scared of the toilet at work. Really. I'm not frightened that I might fall in to, or that something might crawl out of it... rather, I'm a quite positive that at some point this winter I'm going to lose a digit while flushing it.
   
   The flushing mechanism is a one-inch or so in diameter button, located on top of the outside of the lid, that you have to depress pretty hard to commence the flushing. The problem is, after you push the button down, it immediately kicks back with the force of a russian carbine rifle... and guaranteed, your thumb is still on it. It's scary!

That's all. Happy Thanksgiving, turkeys.

Ciao, buddies.
-Nina

Computer Says No

I would like one of these for my birthday please. Thank you.

Love it or poop on it ?


The video, I mean. The song is unquestionably awesome.

Really, I'm curious what people think ... gratuitous celebrity parade or are you interpreting something more ?

What do I think? Well, I am not too proud to admit myself a sucka for a gratuitous celebrity parade. Especially a nicely photographed one in which I get to see Kanye West, Iggy Pop, & Kate Moss' ass cheeks in the same two minutes.

Ciao, buddies.
-Nina

P.S. It's a nice use of "irony" in juxtaposing the sentiment of Johnny Cash wearing black to identify with the poor and the downtrodden with the dude from Maroon 5 and Lisa Marie Presley looking sad.

P.S.S. Maybe I am not such a sucka after all.

Freedom

Excuse me, Mr. Gore... May I ask you a question?

Midnight. Mid-term election -- 2006. Momma is nothing short of giddy.

I've teared up at least fifteen times tonight. It's not 100% dream-come-true, but it is... um, to me at least, 95% ROCK AND ROLL. The house has gone strong to the Dems. The Senate is still up for grabs & very well may not "go" Blue... but really, for all intents and purposes, insofar as sending a message, is as blue as are my eyeballs. There is a better way, my friends. There is a better way, and we, as a country and as voters, are demanding it.

Congrats to some HUGE winners --

Amy Klobochar: nice work on a clean, smart campaign; a strong win earned on pure merit, ability & brains. Woot! First elected female Senator from Minnesota.



Congrats to Nancy Pelosi: first female Speaker of the House.

Congrats to giant sort-of-surprise wins in Pennsylvania, Ohio, Montana, and, God-willing, Virginia (especially Pennsylvania). Thank you!

Congrats Dems to winning a majority of the Governorships.

Congrats to Lori Swanson, first female Attorney General of Minnesota.

Congrats to South Dakota, for saying NO to the abortion ban.

Congrats to everyone who cares for impressive voter turnout.

Congrats to Jack Abramhoff, Tom De Lay, Mark Foley, Bob Ney, & Duke Cunningham for making it impossible to defend you, and for bringing other guilty parties down with you.

Congrats LADIES, ladies, ladies. Methinks, tonight, feminists are raising their whiskies high...

And, easily, most of all, from the bottom of our hearts... congrats to the majority of this country for growing yer balls back! Maybe it's not a 100% landslide, but C'MON, can the message be any more clear....



We are NOT picking up what you are throwing down, Mr. President.

Even people in Tennessee and Nebraska are passing a judgment upon you; your lack of humanity, your lack of humility, your hubris, and your disgusting war. I cannot wait to hear what you have to say for yourself tomorrow.

Congrats & Thank You, American Voters, for being... well, KICKASS and MY NEW HEROES.

Ciao, buddies.
-Nina.

P.S. Not to rain on my own parade, but... I won't lie (remember, I'm not a Republican), I am totally disappointed in the MN 6th District for electing Michelle "Cupcake," "Jesus-told-me-to,""Batshitcrazy" Bachmann. I will never set foot in St. Cloud again. However -- and mark my words -- she will prove herself to as batshitcrazy as she truly is, and before too long. That gives me some joy. Not "we just took the House" kind of joy (which involves dancing), but joy, nonetheless.

P.S.S. Again, I won't lie (remember, I'm not a Republican) -- I am completely freaked out that Smirky-Pawlenty just may pull this one out. I am disappointed by this. I want to see how it ends, but will probably have to wait until the morning (it's not like Mike Hatch would just give up, so I think it will be a late night)... it is sadly close right now. I will go to sleep dreaming of instant-run-off-voting... & cursing Peter Hutchinson.

Nice Work, Funny People


I was lucky enough to see a couple of really well done, funny things this weekend -- Borat (wow. I mean, c'mon, don't make it so easy for him, Red Staters!) & Lost in Yonkers at the Guthrie -- both really, really funny (although, uh, slightly different in nature).

And then to top it off, I find this genius little video. I love when people do this shit.

Nice job. Momma likes funny people.

Ciao, buddies.
-Nina

I'm probably stranger than I was in July

I am really jonesing to go out to the bar.

Since coming home from Europe, broke as a f.j.o.k.e., I have *not* gone out. I'm serious -- I have gone out (not counting ladysleepovers/bookclub meetings or co-ed keggers, held mercifully often this month. thank you) TWICE in five weeks. And of those two outings, one time Girl Hog paid for me; the other time, Mel generously & quietly took care of business.

Not that it isn't good to stay in and save some money, because it is. I get that. There is no economically feasible (or physically) way to keep up with Europe mode. However, the side-effect is that I've been sitting my fat ass on the couch a lot more often.

The good side of said ass on aforementioned couch, besides the money-saving and the QT I'm spending with my cats, is that I've gotten quite a bit of thesis-writing done and at least five books checked off my Read This, Dumbass list. An overview:

• All the King's Men (just excellent. I loved this book)
• Possible Side Effects (not Burroughs' best. funny enough but just too bitchy)
• 1984 (for ladies' bookclub. a classic; as timely now as ever... you know how it goes)
• Magical Thinking (very, very funny)
• America's Report Card (surprisingly good. subtle social commentary yet... not. very "post-9/11," which was stated in the review and I didn't really get what that meant - but, I see it & it's cool)
  

The bad side is that I've picked up four new TV programs, and dropped none.

• Newly added to my regularly. scheduled. programming: Nip/Tuck, Heroes, Countdown with Keith Olbermann, & Desperate Housewives.

The weird side is that I have watched five Brian DePalma films in the last month. It's not really my fault. Comcast seems to be having a love affair with Mr. DePalma - because I've only watched one film on DVD; the rest on either some cable channel or On Demand - at the same time that I have taken to staying up late, drinking red wine, flipping channels by myself. What else am I supposed to do?

• Blow Out (really pretty good. I'm sorry, it is)
• Carrie (still scares me. I like the near absence of literal sex, yet the strong presense of it)
• Body Double (no fucking clue)
• Carlito's Way (solid movie. the Pacino-redeemed stuff is cheesy, but the Penn-damned scenes are killer)
• Femme Fatale (dumb)

The good news is that I have a scheduled Happy Hour tomorrow. It's at a cool place and with two ladies I am thrilled to hang out/catch up with. Hopefully I won't embarrass them by not knowing what to do in, say, the dreaded officious wine-tasting situation. They always seem to come to me when a male is not present... odd.

Ciao, buddies.
-Nina