...which means "throw momma from the tambien."

Summer's end isn't the worst thing in the world.

... a nasty, naughty, bad boy. spank. spank.

Man, I fucking love these pathetic republican closet-cases... these guys just keep getting better and better.

Maynards and Cougars and Lap Dances, Oh My!

You guessed it - - I'm talking about a Saturday night on Lake Minnetonka. My first time - really! I have to say, I thought I would be feeling super old, partying in that scene... but I didn't. I felt lots of things, but old wasn't one of them. It was entirely thanks to the preying packs of cougars and the creepy old guys. Classic.

My favorite exchange of the night:

Maid of honor, to some hot, random guy at the bar:

"Give her a dollar - come on - and she'll give you a kiss."

Random guy's short, goofy-looking friend:

"What can I get for 17 bucks?"

Photographic proof:


This photo pretty much sums up the festivities for the evening: Missy, looking sexy and adorable at the same time (as a general rule, this an irresistible combination), surrounded by a herd of rich, drunk whiteboyz.


This is your typical "Cheers, ladies!" photo - but yet a tiny bit frightening. Look at blond son of satan in the background!


And my personal favorite moment of the night...

"Hip-hop," as Mel very appropriately named him, was a cute little pseudo-Timberlake who was willing (I mean drunk) enough to give the bachelorette an impromptu and free lap dance.

This is Hip-Hop bringing sexy back. Missy is the dirrrrty babe in the back, preparing to remove Hip-Hop's clothing.

She got him as far as topless...

and then this fool came along and kicked Hip-Hop out because, apparently, only chicks can be topless at Lake Minnetonka bars. No I did not really see any topless chicks, but it was cold and rainy so the girls were bundled up in halter tops made of cotton instead of lace and jean skirts that covered their upper thighs instead of just their upper ass cheeks.

I kid, I kid! It was a fun time, all in all. Oh, and I forgot - Rod Stewart popped by to wish the drunken bachelorette all the best. Or something.

Ciao, buddies.
-Nina

P.S. I always think it's very funny to refer to shirtless males as "topless."

Fun for the whole family.

Sometimes I forget about The Onion. Don't forget about The Onion.

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